Sindex by Sinful - See the Results of Our New Survey

Foreword

At Sinful we live for playfulness and curiosity because we simply can’t resist. Imagine if our mission of a playful sex life for everyone could become a human right – the 18th sustainable development goal!

When we as humans play and are curious about new experiences, we get the energy and desire to rediscover ourselves and each other. Through all the ups and downs in life. And even though adulthood catches up with us quickly it doesn’t have to be all chores and seriousness.

That’s what we at Sinful love about sex toys. The playing. Because playing fosters curiosity which in turn fosters conversations. We all have things that are difficult to talk about – both inside and outside the bedroom.

A simple, short conversation has the potential to open a whole new world and understanding of ourselves and our partners. That’s why our mission continues to motivate us. And it’s why we now are launching the Sindex.

With the Sindex we are looking into how the French view intimacy, sex, and relationships. We hope it can inspire both the funny, the easy, and the deep conversations in living rooms as well as bedrooms.

It has been an eye-opener for us to see how similar we are and how many of the same thoughts, concerns, and joys, we share.

Mathilde Mackowski
Visionary

Let's talk about sex

Communication can be the key to a better sex life. At least, if you ask the French. In fact, more than 4 out of 5 think that being able to talk openly and honestly with their partner about sex, desires and fantasies is important for a good sex life. However, only 6 out of 10 Frenchmen find it easy to talk about sex with our partners. Nevertheless, we are – by a significant percentage – the best at doing so in all of the countries covered by the Sindex.

If we look closer at relationships in France, there is a clear link between our ability to talk about sex and how satisfied we are with our sex lives. 9 out of 10 Frenchmen, who are in a relationship, where they are good at talking about sex, say that they are satisfied with their sex lives. This, on the other hand, only goes for a little more than 3 in 10 of the French, who say they aren’t good at communicating with their partner about sex.

There is, as such, good reason to work on the communication in your relationship. Yet every other Frenchman still dreams of becoming better at talking about sex, desires, and fantasies with their partner. Then why don’t we? If you ask the French, the answer is clear: The time is never quite right, we are worried about how our partner will react, and it’s awkward.

We see that talking openly and honestly about sex and relationships in the home, where we grow up, can make a difference later in life. Frenchmen, who have talked openly about sex and relationships in the home they grew up in, are notably better at talking about sex with their partner today than those who grew up in homes, where sex and relationships weren’t talked openly about.

4 out of 5 Frenchmen think communication about sex and intimacy with their sex partner is important for a good sex life

6 out of 10 Frenchmen find it easy to talk about sex, fantasies, and desires with their partner

61%

15%

20%

Very easy/quite easy

Very difficult/quite difficult

Neither easy nor difficult

I do not know/I do not want to answer

Share of Frenchmen who find it easy to communicate about sex, fantasies and desires compared to the other nationalities in the Sindex

France

Sweden

Finland

Norway

Denmark

18-30-year-olds find it easiest to communicate about sex with their partner

Share who finds it easy to talk about sex, fantasies, and desires with their partner

18-30 years

31-40 years

41-55 years

56-70 years

Primary reasons why the French find it difficult to talk about sex, fantasies, and desires with their partner

Because we never talk about sex with our partner

It is difficult to find the right occasion

Our partner finds it awkward

We are nervous about how our partner will react

We find it awkward

How often do French talk about sex, desires, and fantasies with their partner?

Daily

35%

Weekly

25%

Monthly

12%

Less than once a month

11%

Never

Don’t know/don’t want to answer

49% of the French dream about becoming better at talking about sex, desires, and fantasies with their partner

When do the French talk about sex with their partner?

When they or their partner think about sex

When they just had sex

When there is something in their sex life they wish to do differently

When there is something new, they want to try

When they read books or watch TV about sex

Frenchmen who are good at talking about sex are more satisfied
with their sex life

89%

of people in a relationship who
are good at talking about sex
with their partner are satisfied
with their sex life

34%

of people in a relationship who
are not good at talking about
sex with their partner are
satisfied with their sex life

Nearly 1 out of 4 women, who used to fake orgasms, have stopped doing so because they started to communicate with their partner what they like

Do open and honest conversations about sex in the home where you grow up make it easier to talk about sex later in life?

80%

of people who have talked openly about sex and relationships in the home they grew up in, find it easy to talk about sex with their partner today

51%

of people who have not talked openly about sex and relationships in the home they grew up in, find it easy to talk about sex with their partner today

What is a good sex life?

Sex and intimacy are an important part of life for most Frenchmen. In fact, 4 out of 5 Frenchmen say that it is important for them to have a good sex life. But what does the good sex life look like? The answers are many and different. On one hand, it can be liberating to know that you can enjoy sex in many different ways. On the other, it can also create friction and dissatisfaction between partners if their ideas of a good sex life differ.

Fortunately, the numbers in this year’s Sindex show that most Frenchmen are satisfied with their sex lives. In fact, the French are the happiest of all countries in the Sindex: 2 out of 3 Frenchmen say that they are satisfied with their sex lives. This goes for both men and women.

Nevertheless, nearly every other Frenchman dream about having more sex with their partner. But if we look closer at the numbers, we see that frequency isn’t the most important ingredient in a good sex life. In fact, it isn’t even on the top 5 of important factors for a good sex life. Only 1 in 5 says that regular sex is an important factor in a good sex life. Feeling close and connected to one’s partner and having quality sex is far more important. In fact, they are the most important factors in a good sex life according to the French.

The numbers also show a depressing tendency: Negative body images limit women in their sex lives. Because while 1 in 7 women is unsatisfied with her sex life, nearly a third of them say it is because she doesn’t feel comfortable in her body.

4 out of 5 Frenchmen say it’s important to them to have a good sex life

The good sex life according to the French

The quality of the sex you have is good

You feel closeness and a connection to your sex partner

You can communicate openly about sex with your sex partner

You have a completely normal sex life

You always or often have an orgasm

Two in three Frenchmen are satisfied with their sex life

Satisfaction with sex life

65%

13%

Satisfied

Neither satisfied nor dissatisfied

Dissatisfied

Don’t know/Do not want to answer

Men are slightly more satisfied with their sex lives than women

62%

of women are satisfied with their sex life

69%

of men are satisfied with their sex life

Share of the French who are satisfied with their sex life compared to the other nationalities in the Sindex

France

Denmark

Sweden

Finland

Norway

Most common reasons for dissatisfaction with sex life

52%

Do not have sex as often as wanted

68%

41%

22%

Do not feel comfortable in own body

11%

29%

12%

Not satisfied with the quality of the sex

13%

11%

Do not get an orgasm as often as I would like

12%

11%

Have other fantasies, desires and needs than partner(s)

14%

59%

of the French say they gain a better mood from having a good sex life

54%

of the French say they gain a closer relationship with their partner from having a good sex life

48% of the French would like to experiment more sexually

43% of Frenchmen in relationships would like to have sex with their partner more often than is the case today

French
and sex

What does a 'normal sex life' look like in France? Isn’t it only women, who fake orgasms? Will my fantasies and desires scare away potential sex partners? Do I masturbate too often?

For long, sex has been a topic that we didn’t speak openly about. Therefore, the French have many ideas about what makes up a 'normal sex life' – and perhaps they are not always close to reality.

Most Frenchmen say they have had 10 or less sex partners in their life. The majority has been sexually active within the last month and most Frenchmen fantasise about having sex on a special location such as an airplane or in nature – or have in fact already tried it.

Unfortunately, the numbers also confirm what other studies about sexual inequality have shown: The orgasm gap is evident. While 65% of French men have an orgasm often or every time during sex with others, this only goes for 58% of the women. Yet, the gap – when compared to other countries in the Sindex – is smaller in France than other places.

Delve into the numbers here to see all the nuances of the 'normal sex life' in France.

Every 10th Frenchmen has not had sex the past year

How often do the French have sex?

One to several times a day

27%

1-2 times a week

19%

3-6 times a week

14%

1-3 times a month

3-5 times every 6 months

Less than 6 times in the past year

13%

I have not had sex at all within the past year

I do not know/I do not want to answer

2 out of 5 Frenchmen in relationships want to have sex with their partner more often than is the case today

Nearly two thirds of the French have had maximum 10 sex partners

0 partners

40%

1-5 partners

19%

6-10 partners

11%

11-15 partners

16-20 partners

21-25 partners

26-30 partners

31-40 partners

41-50 partners

More than 50 partners

I do not know/I do not want to answer

The Orgasm Gap

65%

of men say they have an orgasm every time or often when they have sex with others

58%

of women say they have an orgasm every time or often when they have sex with others

47% of the French say they have faked an orgasm

37%

of men say they have faked an orgasm

55%

of women say they have faked an orgasm

Reasons why Frenchmen stop faking orgasms

Their partner began to pay more attention to their desires and preferences

They have become more comfortable with not having an orgasm

They have started to tell their sex partner what they liked

They started to feel more confident

They started to explore how they could get an orgasm on their own

French men masturbate more than women

How often have you masturbated in the past year?

Men

Women

Daily

Weekly

Monthly

Less than monthly

Hasn’t masturbated in the past year

Do not know / do not want to answer

19% of the French fantasise about having sex in a special location such as an airplane or in nature, and 39% have already tried it

What are we hiding in our nightstands ?

When the dildo saw the light of day for the first time, it was considered to be a medical tool to cure women from hysteria. Fortunately, we have come a long way since then. The diagnosis of hysteria has been removed and today it is completely normal to have sex toys in the nightstand. Every third Frenchmen has tried using sex toys while 3 out of 10 owns one or more sex toys.

In the 1800’s doctors were already warning about the addictive effect of dildos. And we can relate. Because sex toys have quite the effect. Frenchmen, who own toys, tend to be more satisfied with their sex lives, than those who don’t.

If you look across the country, it is clear, that there is a lot of gold hiding in the nightstands – especially in Auvergne-Rhône-Alpes, Grand Est, and Hauts-de-France while those from Bretagne and Bourgogne-Franche-Comté are holding back slightly more. And if your name is PhilipeX or JulienX, then there is a good chance that there are sex toys in your nightstand.

One thing is sure under all circumstances: The vibrator comes in as a solid number 1 on the list of most used sex toys across all the countries in the Sindex.

34% of the French have tried using sex toys

29% of the French currently own sex toys

18-30 years

31-40 years

41-55 years

56-70 years

Across all the countries in the Sindex, the vibrator is the most common sex toy

32%

of people in a relationship own sex toys

24%

of singles own sex toys

Sex toy owners on average own 3,1 sex toys

23%

of French women own a vibrator

of French men own a penis ring

Sinful’s top 10 most sold products worldwide

in quantity

Lube

Suction stimulator

Anal lube

Penis ring without vibrator

Mini vibrator

Rabbit vibrator

Sex toy cleaning

Butt plug

Realistic dildo

Penis ring with vibrator

These Frenchmen buy most sex toys on Sinful

Philipe Nicolas Laurent Thomas Christophe

Marie Julie Laura Nathalie Camille

Monday is the weekday, where the French buy most sex toys

Between 15-16 in the evening is when the French buy most sex toys

436 kilometres
That’s how many kilometres of dildo Sinful in total has sold in the last year

68,000 litres
That is the total volume of lube Sinful has sold in the last year

Frenchmen who own sex toys are more satisfied with their sex lives

74%

of people who own sex toys are satisfied with their sex life

64%

of people who do not own sex toys are satisfied with their sex life

Do we speak the same love language?

France is a country full of happy relationships. 4 out of 5 Frenchmen say that they are happy in their current relationships. And we are good at letting each other know.

36% of Frenchmen relationships tell their partners that they love them on a daily basis. But how do we actually also express our love for each other? Out of the five love languages – physical touch, appreciative words, attention & time, favours, and gifts – the French agree that attention and time is particularly appreciated. This differentiates France from the rest of the countries in the Sindex, who lean towards physical touch and appreciative words. Flower bouquets and small favours, on the other hand, are not the direct way to a French heart – nor any other nationality in the Sindex, for that matter.

But something also indicates that men can benefit from replacing the small pat on the bum with giving their partner two minutes of undivided attention. Because while 41% of women prefer that their partner expresses love by devoting their time to each other, only 31% of men tend to express their love in this manner.

No matter who you ask, it remains essential to remember to kiss, hug and caress each other. For 9 out of 10 Frenchmen intimacy is key to a well-functioning relationship and it affects most of us negatively if we aren’t intimate with our partner for a longer period of time.

4 out of 5 Frenchmen are satisfied with their relationship

80%

12%

Satisfied

Neither satisfied nor dissatisfied

Dissatisfied

I do not know/I do not want to answer

9 out of 10 Frenchmen think intimacy is important for a well-functioning relationship

53% say it affects them negatively, when they’re not intimate with their partner for a longer period of time

1 out of 3 Frenchmen tell their partner that they love them on a daily basis

36%

Daily

34%

Weekly

12%

Monthly

Less than monthly

Only on special occasions

The French love language: Attention and time is – by far – the preferred love language in France

40%

With attention and time, e.g. when you spend quality time together or go on a date

25%

With appreciative words, e.g. compliments and recognition

21%

With physical touches, e.g. kisses and hugs

With small favours, e.g. your partner doing the dishes or grocery-shopping on the way home

With presents, e.g. flowers

Women prefer attention and time, but men more often express their love through physical touches

41% of women prefer their partner to express their love through attention and time, but only 31% of men say they most often express love for their partner through attention and time

Preferred love languages across countries in the Sindex

40%

France: attention and time

31%

Denmark: physical touch

28%

Sweden: appreciative words

29%

Norway: physical touch

27%

Finland: physical touch / appreciative words

35%

UK: appreciative words

What do we fantasise about?

Growing up, we are playful and imaginative. But we tend to forget our playfulness when adulthood and everyday life sets in. That is a shame. Because the French are full of hidden fantasies about new ways to have sex.

Fortunately, it is no longer associated with shame to feel like playing under the bed sheets – or outside the four walls of our home for that matter. And in France we are pretty good at expressing this. In fact, more than 2 out of 3 Frenchmen talk about sex, desires, and fantasies with their partner at least once a month.

According to the French, they also live out their fantasies. Every fifth Frenchman, for instance, dreams about having sex in a special location such as a plane or in nature – and 39% have already tried it. Even though many of us live out our fantasies, the French are still curious about new experiences. Nearly every other Frenchman dreams about experimenting more sexually.

Delve into the numbers and learn more about the sexual curiosity of the French here.

48% of the French would like to experiment more sexually

69% say they talk about sex, desires, and fantasies with their partner at least once a month

What do the French fantasise about?

Fantasise about it

Have already tried

To have sex with more than one person at a time

To have sex on a special location

To be dominated or to dominate others sexually

To have sex wearing costumes

To have sex in a swinger club

To have anal sex

To use sex toys

To have sex with someone of the same sex

To have sex with some sort of pain

Foreword

Let's talk about sex

Share of Frenchmen who find it easy to communicate about sex, fantasies and desires compared to the other nationalities in the Sindex

Primary reasons why the French find it difficult to talk about sex, fantasies, and desires with their partner

How often do French talk about sex, desires, and fantasies with their partner?

When do the French talk about sex with their partner?

Frenchmen who are good at talking about sex are more satisfied with their sex life

Do open and honest conversations about sex in the home where you grow up make it easier to talk about sex later in life?

What is a good sex life?

The good sex life according to the French

Men are slightly more satisfied with their sex lives than women

Share of the French who are satisfied with their sex life compared to the other nationalities in the Sindex

Most common reasons for dissatisfaction with sex life

French and sex

Every 10th Frenchmen has not had sex the past year

Nearly two thirds of the French have had maximum 10 sex partners

The Orgasm Gap

Reasons why Frenchmen stop faking orgasms

What are we hiding in our nightstands ?

Sinful’s top 10 most sold products worldwide

These Frenchmen buy most sex toys on Sinful

Frenchmen who own sex toys are more satisfied with their sex lives

Do we speak the same love language?

1 out of 3 Frenchmen tell their partner that they love them on a daily basis

The French love language: Attention and time is – by far – the preferred love language in France

Women prefer attention and time, but men more often express their love through physical touches

Preferred love languages across countries in the Sindex

What do we fantasise about?

48% of the French would like to experiment more sexually

69% say they talk about sex, desires, and fantasies with their partner at least once a month

Frenchmen who are good at talking about sex are more satisfied
with their sex life

French
and sex